The Half Dozen: 6 Most Interesting Looking Trailers For December 2012

Posted on

Gather round, one and all. The spirit of the season is upon us, and cinemas will be filled with festive treats and reissues of The Muppet Christmas Carol, It’s A Wonderful Life and, if you’ve been really good this year, Die Hard. But as well as that, there’s a host of fresh Christmas goodies, all wrapped and waiting, plus at least one other seasonal treat getting a fresh airing.

So here for your seasonal entertainment are my selection of trailers for this month, each one accompanied by a Christmas ditty or piece of prose of some sort which I’ve shamefully ripped off reworded slightly in honour of the film in question. A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

Gremlins

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
This close to midnight, the Mogwai was waking
But no food for him, no chance Bill be taking
 
When down in the lounge there arose such a clatter
He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter
Away to the kitchen he flew like a flash
To grab him a knife, some Gremlins to slash

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

O little town of Hobbiton
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and pipe-fuelled sleep
A fire-breath’d dragon files
Yet in the dark caves shineth
The elven “sword” called Sting
The hopes and fears of Gandalf’s peers
Rest not yet on a ring

Chasing Ice

Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the photo’s so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, it must snow, oh please snow!
It’s showing large signs of thawing
And the world is still ignoring
Al Gore would have liked this show
Let it snow, it must snow, oh please snow!

Life Of Pi

On the twelfth day of Christmas, all known Gods gave to me
Twelve zoo crates moving
Eleven Coldplay pop tunes
Ten whales a leaping
Nine ladies dancing
Eight fish a catching
Seven hours of swimming
Six meercats playing
Five shots of bling
Four attempts at filming
Three dimensions
Two blokes just chatting
And a tiger who wants me for tea

Pitch Perfect

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
Children singing truly phat rhymes
With logs on the fire, Anna K in the nip
This gaggle of girls will try hard to be hip

Jack Reacher

At Christmas time, there’s no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we banish light and we let in shade
And in the world of bad guys, Werner Herzog’s just a joy
Can Jack Reacher save the world, at Christmas time?
But say a prayer, pray for the other ones
At Christmas time, they’ve no chance when Tom’s having fun
There’s a world outside your window
And it’s a world of dreaded fear
Well tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you

2 thoughts on “The Half Dozen: 6 Most Interesting Looking Trailers For December 2012

    […] the season of goodwill, and I hope you’ll extend me all of yours. Following the success of last year’s Half Dozen December picks with their own Christmas songs and carols, I once again present my top six trailers of the month, […]

    […] ditty of some variety and dubious quality. If you like, get yourself a reminder of my efforts in 2012 and 2013 to get the idea before embarking on this year’s collection of dodgy poetry and vague […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s