Winnie The Pooh

Goldilocks And The Three Films (With Apologies To Roald Dahl)

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Goldie Hawn. Lives with Kurt Russell. Not bears.
You may have heard about Goldie and bears,
Of porridge and beds, the usual affairs,
But you may not know it all ended OK,
The foursome still sharing a house to this day.
But porridge and sleep can soon lose their thrill,
How else can this foursome get them their fill?
“I know,” said Goldie,”how we’ll get our kicks,
Let’s see what’s showing at our local flicks.”
“Cracking!” said Mother, “but what shall we see?
On what we should watch we never agree?”
“That’s fine,” cried Goldilocks, “I’ll make a call,
To keep us all happy I’ll go with you all.
You each choose a film that you really must see,
And then I’ll accompany all of you three.”
“Fantastic!” said Daddy Bear, “I shall go first,
Because Mummy’s choices are always the worst.”
Dad's choice: Little White Lies
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Christopher Robin Has Terminal Cancer!

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It's OK, Tigger, it's just an attention-grabbing headline.

My wife is very tolerant of my movie addiction, so I’m always keen to get her opinion on things I think she’ll enjoy. Sometimes that’s a greyer area, as there are certain things in life which have meant a lot to her and if one of them finds its way back into popular culture, that can be a potentially sensitive area. Take, for example, the new Winnie The Pooh trailer which ended up on internets everywhere earlier this week.

I know that Winnie The Pooh has a tender place in her heart, not least due to her father reading her the stories so often when she was young, that he knew every word off by heart, from heffalumps to woozles. Not of course, this Winnie The Pooh:

It's like being in the Disney shop.

Or indeed, this abomination against nature that surfaced a few years ago:

It's legally quite OK to use Darby dolls for voodoo purposes.

But, of course, this Winnie The Pooh:

Old Pooh. (Insert your own joke. Use "piglet in rear" if struggling.)

I will confess that when I became aware that a new Pooh movie was on the way and that John Lasseter had helped guide its direction, from the descriptions I was mistakenly expecting something like the latter image. Silly me. Of course it looks very much like the first of the three, in the style of the classic Sixties movies. So much so, that the only thing that distinguishes it as being contemporary is the Keane song that’s being played over it – a track so maudlin that, when I solicited my wife’s opinion, her reaction was, somewhat unexpectedly, “It’s so sad – it’s like Christopher Robin has terminal cancer or something!” Keane, you have a lot to answer for.

I can only hope that Lasseter knows what he’s doing – hand-drawn animation is struggling, and it’s certainly a brave move to put such a movie with such a distinctive style back in cinemas, and I personally hope that the story is nearer Pixar’s more recent output than Disney’s, while still retaining something of A.A. Milne’s original intent. Whatever happens, it will be fascinating to see how this one pans out. Get well soon, Christopher Robin.