The Half Dozen: 6 Most Interesting Looking Trailers For January 2013

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It’s January again, and all of a sudden film becomes just that shade more worthy, as we prepare for the regular gatherings of the good, the bad and the utterly shameless to congratulate each other with shiny trinkets. (If you’re a new reader, then welcome to The Dis-Enchanted World Of Awards Apathy.) Since everyone’s handing out awards at this time of year, I’m going to follow up last January’s inaugural MUTA (Made-Up Trailer Awards) nominations with further appeals For Your Consideration at this special time.

The Impossible

Ewan McGregor for Best Actor Getting To Put On An Accent Fairly Close To His Own

Producers Álvaro Augustin, Belen Atienza, Enrique López Lavigne for Best Exploitation Of A Natural Disaster That Will Look Really Cool In The Cinema

Small Boy for Most Fake Looking Being Swept Along In The Wake Of A Tsunami


Repulsion for Most Intriguing Looking Re-release of January 2012

Also nominated: lots of other Roman Polanski films. He’s not dead, is he? Or 100?

Les Miserables

Do You Hear The People Sing? for Best Song That Appears To Have Taken Up Permanent Residence In My Head And Now Haunts My Every Waking Thought, Please Send Help I’m Begging You

Russell Crowe for Best Use Of A Beard To Help Him Look Distinguished

Anne Hathaway for Most Likely Dead Cert To Win An Oscar (1/6 at time of writing. Everyone else, you may give up and go home now.)

American Mary

American Mary for Most Interesting Looking Horror Movie That I Can Guarantee Won’t Play Within 50 Miles Of My House

American Mary also for The It’s Out On DVD In Less Than A Fortnight Anyway But That’s Not The Point Cinematic Frustration Award

The Sessions

John Hawkes for Best Actor From Oh, What’s That Film, No Don’t Tell Me, Ooh That’s Going To Bug Me Now

William H. Macy for Best Hairstyling

Helen Hunt for Best Actress Playing A Role That Seems Tailor Made For Helen Hunt

The Last Stand

Arnold Schwarzenegger for Best Retired Politician That Probably Should Never Have Given Up Acting

Johnny Knoxville for Best Actor That Probably Should Never Have Given Up Being Repeatedly Kicked In The Balls

Luis Guzman for Best Supporting Actor From Oh, What’s That Film, No Don’t Tell Me, Ooh That’s Going To Bug Me Now