BlogalongaMuppets: Men Or Muppets?My idea was frankly a well-trodden route: I’d stolen the concept from blogger The Suit. They call him Incredible, blogger on Odd Job, And once when I met him I bought him a Hob Nob. His Muppet opinions were channeled through Beaker, And I’ve had considered that Muppet much meeker But then his opinions were given quite freely, With wall to wall swearing and barely a “mee-mee.” My next was a Movie-Con Forumite chum, But watching the Muppets has oft made him glum. On Twitter he goes by the name EthanRunt, But most who have met him think he’s just a lovely fellow actually. (Ahem.) His posts showed a talent for cool Photoshopping (I wish I was that good at pasting and cropping.) He even made up his own Muppet, a snail: It’s just such a shame that most films made him wail. Then came Tim Brandon, from blog Mild Concern, Another who thought from the Muppets he’d learn, And learn he did quickly, that he liked their songs, But Michael Caine’s dancing is all kinds of wrongs. Book-ending his journey were films he’d not seen, The first Muppet movie, on which he weren’t keen, And also the last one, which prompted a quiz o- ver where was his favourite – the rat they call Rizzo? Then at the last mo came Joe Cunningham – freak! He rattled the lot off in under a week! (Making me look bad – forever my headline Is I’ve missed another Blogalongabond deadline.) The Razzmatazz gave on each film a top five, Even on Muppets From Space – that’s a jive Turkey of epic proportions – I mean it! (At least he could claim that he’d sat down and seen it.) The one thing that couldn’t by any be doubted Is that thorough opinions on Muppets we’d outed, All giving opinions on each Muppet opus As a method of allowing each one to cope as The wait for the new film stretched longer and longer – And then the Yanks saw it! In November! That’s wronger Than even the worst of the series. But surely I’d not know for certain which film ranked most poorly? Well ha! I exclaim! Au contraire! I can prove Which movies left most of us feeling the groove, Which sent us to hell, and which lifted to heaven, For all of the bloggers have ranked out of seven Each Muppety saga, and as you can see On which is the best, all but I can agree. I love Christmas Carol, but some Muppets it missed; But the final result leaves me happy, not pissed. So now it’s all over, until there’s a sequel Which, rumour would have it, might lose Jason Segel. But for now, our adventures have reached a conclusion And Muppets and blogging are no longer a fusion That I hope has been all things, at least celebrational; I’ve certainly no doubt it’s been Muppetational. But even if Muppets have made you go “blech!” Then just wait for the sequel – when bloggers will Trek…
Coming later this year: BlogalongaTrek. Starting in June, with Star Trek: The Motionless Picture, I’ll be reviewing a Star Trek film a month until the release of the twelfth in the series, next May. Given that only five of the eleven so far have been any good, and two of them are quite, quite awful, it’s sure to be an epic journey through pleasure and pain; even more so for me, as I only own the first seven on VHS. They are the last remaining videotapes I own. Join me, either by contributing here or by your own blogs, for the journey where quite a lot of people have gone before. Blogalong V: BlogalongaTrek, starting June this year.
But thanks again to all of my excellent bloggers, it’s been a fascinating journey, where we mainly learned that nostalgia isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be – unless you make a film about it. And that no-one thought Muppets From Space was any good.
Review Of The Year 2010: My Top 40 Movies Of 2010
I’ve never really understood birthdays. Call me an old curmudgeon if you like, but I’ve somehow missed the point that our arbitrary calendar system, based on the distance round the giant glowy thing that our damp ball of rock has travelled, requires us to mark each revolution with some significance. Same applies to New Year – we have an odd and occasionally unhealthy fascination with running out of days in a particular year that requires us to spend ridiculous amounts of money to get drunk in public or stand around in the early hours of the morning singing a song that no one actually understands a word of. I’m not averse to a party, I can just think of better reasons.
Now lists, on the other hand, that’s something I can relate to. The need to obsessively collate and rank things in some sense of order, for no real point other than the satisfaction of having done it? Fantastic. I’m also absurdly competitive – get me in a pub with a pool cue or a set of darts in my hand and the demons appear from inside me and take over my brain. So if we have to mark the passing of the year, then I can think of no better way of doing it that with a purely arbitrary collection of a competitive nature, based around another damp-rock-glowy-thing-orbit.